


Found Nude in a Tree

by kaizoku



Series: Summer Pornathon 2014 [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Crack, M/M, Modern AU, Reincarnation, Summer Pornathon 2014, Team Gluttony, Texts From Last Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 09:09:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2223432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaizoku/pseuds/kaizoku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is a cop whose night takes a turn for the surreal. Merlin gets more than a ticket.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Found Nude in a Tree

_(440): The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"_ [[link]](http://textsfromlastnight.com/Text-Replies-2419.html)

It was around 5am and they'd been called to assist when at a party where a fight had broken out. A swordfight, specifically. It was that kind of night.

By the time he and Leon arrived, the combatants were being read their rights and having their injuries tended. The place reeked of cannabis, but as it was a private adult party, they gave the residents a general warning and left it at that.

Arthur let out of a breath as he walked back outside. He might actually make it home by 7:30 if they didn't have any more arrests tonight.

Then he looked up and saw a nude man in a tree.

"Sir?" He called up. He clicked on his torch and shone the light into the branches. The man opened his eyes, then squinted and mumbled something unintelligible.

He heard Leon, leading one of the arrests, chuckle. "I'll leave this one to you." Arthur ignored him.

"Sir, are you intoxicated? Can you get down?" He was about fifteen feet up, not terribly high but enough to crack a few bones if he fell. 

The man tried to roll over. Arthur made an aborted move to catch him, but the man stayed put, blinking and peering down at Arthur. It looked like the branches had somehow twined around him. Arthur shook his head. It was probably the light playing tricks.

The man had wide blue eyes, generous lips, and dark hair, on his head and chest and - Arthur forced his eyes away, attempting to keep a professional demeanor.

"Hullo," the man called down. "Is that you, Arthur?"

Arthur was speechless for a moment, then he cleared his throat.

"Er, yes. This is Officer Pendragon." He tried to remember if this was one of their "frequent fliers" or some other acquaintance, but he couldn't place him. He did seem vaguely familiar though.

"Thank fuck," the man said. "I've been waiting forever."

This made no sense and also served to annoy Arthur. Drunken idiots expecting police to save them from their own stupidity usually did that.

"Sir, I'm going to need you to come down out of there now."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I'm too stiff still."

Arthur guessed this was a euphemism for "too drunk." 

"I'll have the fire department to come and put up a ladder," Arthur said, starting to walk away. 

"Wait!" The man yelped. "Arthur, don't leave me again!"

He paused. The man was stretching slowly, as if his wiry arms and legs really were stiff. He managed to push himself up to a sitting position, his legs dangling. Arthur took a few steps back toward the tree.

"Be careful," Arthur said, then, "What's your name?" It was bothering him that he couldn't remember.

"Merlin." He was smiling at Arthur, totally unconcerned at being stark naked in front of a policeman. He had nothing to be ashamed of, though. His cock was rather lovely, even soft. 

"Do you want me to climb up?" It was a stupid thing to say, completely against policy and common sense.

"No, no, your trousers look far too tight for that sort of activity." Merlin's eyes were dancing.

"Get your arse down here then, idiot."

He kept the flashlight on Merlin as he climbed down. It wasn't strictly necessary - but Merlin did have a great arse as well.

Merlin was a bit breathless by the time he was standing in front of him. So was Arthur. That feeling that he _knew_ Merlin was even stronger.

"Hi," Merlin said shyly. He didn't really seem like he was drunk. And then Merlin leaned up and kissed him, not shyly at all.

"Um," Arthur said, pulling back, his hands curling into Merlin's shoulders. "That's - we can't do that."

"Why not?" Merlin looked put out. "I've waited several hundred years for this."

"Hundred years?" Arthur was bewildered, and a bit - okay, he was a bit enthralled by this man with leaves in his hair who called him by his first name and wasn't at all intimidated by the uniform - but that didn't mean that he could just unbuckle his belt…

"Whoa! What are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Merlin said, kneeling and Arthur put a hand against the tree to steady himself as Merlin tugged down his boxers and licked the crown of Arthur's penis.

"Are you real?" Arthur asked as Merlin swallowed around him. He wasn't sure of Merlin's reply but it felt like magic.


End file.
